


Claudine's Depeest, Darkest Desire

by orphan_account



Category: Lucifer (TV), 少女☆歌劇 レヴュースタァライト -Re LIVE- | Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight -Re LIVE- (Video Game), 少女☆歌劇 レヴュー・スタァライト | Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight (Anime)
Genre: Crack, Crack Crossover, F/F, Gen, i dunno what i'm doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 18:21:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20430383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Saijou Claudine,” he started. “What is your deepest, darkest desire?”There was a moment of silence.“To...”





	Claudine's Depeest, Darkest Desire

**Author's Note:**

> This crack existed because of a certain discord chat that happened. Enjoy.

If Claudine is a sane person, she would probably never do this. Alas, she witnessed enough magical things, a prime example of this is the talking giraffe, that makes her question if all the fairytales she’d heard, ghosts, magical beings, and even gods are all true. Don’t get her wrong; she is not, in anyway, an atheist or anything. She does believe but there’s still a doubt on her guts that they are true.

But then again, she knew what she would be doing would not warrant her a place in heaven with the gods.

The first time she had heard it, she knew it was a mere gossip. Apparently, some exchange student from some nearby school (was it Uehara Academy or Aihara Academy?) spread that she talked to a guy named Lucifer Morningstar, who claimed to be the devil. That girl said that she asked this Lucifer guy for a favor that she knew would be impossible to get. Turns out that this Lucifer managed to make this impossible wish as possible.

Weird flex but, okay, is what Claudine remembered thinking. The girl is just probably flexing herself, anyways.

The second time she heard about the Lucifer guy, is when she heard the news about a guy claiming to have seen an evil face on Lucifer’s face. He was a street pastor (was that a thing in America? Claudine doesn’t really know), protesting about the importance of atoning, as well as getting money from the bystanders, when he saw the Lucifer guy walking up to him. Claudine doesn’t know what happened next for she stopped listening after Hikari saw her snooping around and watching on her phone (Hikari is really selfish) but it made her think.  
What if this Lucifer guy is actually true? 

There’s a high chance of probability that it is not true but the coincidences of the two events is so palpable. She thought about the possibility of it being staged but she’s positive that the girl from the nearby school doesn’t know about the street pastor even though they reside in the same city in the USA.

Well, there’s no harm in believing a little, right?

After some digging on the internet, Claudine found Lucifer’s Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. He was not a private person, Claudine believes. Turns out that Lucifer owns a bar called ‘Lux’ and he’s, apparently, going to Japan along with some of his detective friends for a much needed vacation.

That’s why Claudine is now standing in front of a posh hotel, waiting for this Lucifer to show up.

The sane part of her must be probably wondering why would she pursue this Lucifer guy but her insane part knew the answer to that:

Tendou. Maya.

Claudine knew that perseverance alone would not make her the top star nor defeat Maya. Of course, she never lose hope that she would, one day, top her become the top star but she knew it would take some magical being to actually make her the top star. At least, that’s what she hope would happen after she talked to this Lucifer.

She’s now ready to sell her soul to the devil just to beat Tendou Maya and nothing, not even her sane self, could stop her.

Before coming to the hotel that Lucifer and his friends currently stays at (he tweeted where they would be staying), Claudine researched more into things that Lucifer might want. At first, Claudine was hesitating to even continue her plan to give Lucifer a gift as an exchange of his service. She never expected that she would need to have an alive goat to offer to the Prince of Darkness nor a blood of a human. 

She was tight on budget right now for her parents gave her less money than her original allowance due to the fact that she went past her credit limit. She occasionally went over to her credit limit, sure, but her parents was even more shocked with what Claudine apparently ‘bought’. Apparently, Kaoruko used her credit card for shopping on a sex store, which reflected on her credit card and thus, resulting on her parents finding out about it. They thought she was the one that went on a shopping spree in a sex store. Needless to say, the dorm became a wrestling arena after Claudine confronted Kaoruko (but that story would be for another time).

Where would she place the goat if she can buy one, anyway? It’s not like she can just take it to their dorm and if she did, she was sure Junna would have a fit.

As for the blood of a human, Claudine contemplated getting some of Maya’s blood while she is sleeping but she doesn’t know if her blood sacrifice is valid since Maya would be affected by her wish (and she hated seeing blood upclose). Good thing Claudine managed to manipulate contract Hikari and Karen. They would be the one who would give the needed blood to Lucifer. She just hoped that the duo would arrive in time because she doesn’t want to anger Lucifer.

After waiting for half an hour outside the hotel, Claudine finally saw the person she was waiting for.

Lucifer Morningstar.

He was charming, just like what the girl from Aihara Academy said. Though, Claudine didn’t found herself attracted to him, which is a very good thing.

“You are Lucifer Morningstar,” Claudine did not waste any time after she approached him. “Am I right?”

Good thing I can somehow communicate in English, was what Claudine thought.

Lucifer looked at her with a smug smile on his face and said, “Why, what a lovely lady like you wanted from me?”

Claudine just eyed him nervously. He speaks in British accent, making the words seem more distorted on her ear.

Shiiiiiiit, where are you Hikari?!

“And, yes, I’m Lucifer Morningstar,” he confirmed after Claudine did not replied on his question. “Who are you? Do I know you?”

“I’m Saijou Claudine.” Claudine extended her hand for a shake to which Lucifer accepted.

“So, what do you want from me?”

Claudine looked to her left then to her right to make sure that no one would be eavesdropping on them. After seeing no one near and around them, Claudine whispered, “I know you’re the devil.”

What happened next surprised Claudine.

“Oh, thank goodness, someone finally believed that I am the devil,” he exclaimed. “No one has been believing when I told people that.”

Claudine eyed him suspiciously while he wiped his non-existent tears on his eyes. While that happened, her sane part is already screaming at her,

I TOLD YOU, HE WAS A FAKE. HE’S CON MAN.

SHUT UP, the insane part of her argued back.

After a few moments of silence between them, Lucifer finally spoke, “Thank you, missy, for believing that I am the devil.”  
Claudine was about to reply when he continued, “And for that, let me treat you into the most fancy restaurant I’ve ever been in my life.”

Claudine just nodded as her confirmation to Lucifer’s offer. Who was she to deny a free food, anyways? And besides, she’s so hungry.

After walking for a few minutes and a quick text to Hikari and Karen, Lucifer and Claudine finally arrive to their destination. Turns out that the ‘most fancy restaurant’ that Lucifer was talking about… is a burger joint.

Free food is free food, Claudine, she thought to herself.

As soon as they entered, they ordered burger, fries, and drinks. Lucifer insisted to pay, of course, since he’s the one treating Claudine to a burger joint.

After getting their food, they sat down on the far corner of the joint and there, Claudine finally took the courage to talk to the devil in front of her.

“I want you to do me a favor, Mr. Morningstar,” Claudine did not beat around the bush. 

“Well, that favor would cost you something in exchange,” Lucifer said after he took a bite of his burger.

Claudine nodded and proceeded to rummage on her backpack. She took out the items she knew Lucifer would need as an offer to his service.

“Bloody hell!” Lucifer exclaimed in shock. “What the hell is this?!”

Claudine pushed a bag of blood to Lucifer. “That’s a sheep’s blood. I’m on a tight budget right now that’s why I can’t give you an actual goat. I opted for a goat’s blood but no store here in Japan offers fresh goat’s blood as of now. Hence, the sheep’s blood.”

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Lucifer whispered sharply. “Why the hell would you offer a bag of sheep’s blood to me?”

“Maybe I’m really out of my mind. I just want my wish to come true,” Claudine argued.

Claudine could have sworn Lucifer whispered, I hate you, Amenadiel, under his breath but it was so low she does not know if it was true or just her mind playing tricks on her again.

“Alright,” Lucifer breathed, “what do you want?”

She felt her pulse spike up as her heart started to beat intensely. This was it. This was the start of her dreams becoming true.

“I,” she started, “I want to be the top star of our school.”

Lucifer raised a brow at her wish. “Top… star? What the bloody hell was that?”

Claudine sighed. Good thing she came prepared.

“It’s how our school’s system works. Being a top star is like being the valedictorian of a batch but on theater school.”

“Huh,” Lucifer pursed his lips. “Didn’t know they have that here. The kids back home just try to out do each other by deciding who has a bigger ego.”

Lucifer studied Claudine for a few seconds before saying, “there’s more to it than just wanting to become a top star.”

He smirked when he saw Claudine gulped nervously. “I wanted to defeat Tendou Maya and become the top star.”

“So, that’s what it is,” he exclaimed. “Never leave out any more details, Saijou Claudine.”

Claudine nodded.

“So, who is this Tendou Maya.”

Without any beat, Claudine answered in angrily, “a vexing woman who’s in the way of me becoming a top star.”

Lucifer smiled widely at Claudine’s outburst. “Ah, a rivalry.”

“Well, anyway,” Lucifer sat straight up and looked at Claudine. “With that being aside, Saijou Claudine, what do you desire?”

Claudine snorted, “To defeat Tendou Maya and become the top star.”

Lucifer laughed. “Be realistic, Claudine.”

“I am realistic,” she retorted. “I wanna defeat her.”

“Well,” Lucifer stopped laughing. “Let’s try that again, shall we?”

Lucifer looked at her in the eye and suddenly, Claudine felt like she was trapped in Lucifer’s gaze. She can’t look away from his eyes and because of this, she never noticed three silhouettes approaching her and Lucifer’s table with keen interest.

“Saijou Claudine,” he started. “What is your deepest, darkest desire?”

There was a moment of silence.

“To top Tendou Maya,” she replied, still held captive in Lucifer’s gaze.

“So that’s what it was!” Lucifer’s exclamation broke Claudine’s trance. She was confused why he was laughing but thinking back what happened moments ago made her remember the humiliating answer she gave to Lucifer.

“Wha—” She looked like a fool. “What did you do to me?!”

Lucifer continued to laugh. “I was just asking you what you desire, Claudine.”

As if it was not embarrassing enough, an all familiar voice reached her ears.

“I didn’t know you wanted Tendou-san like that, Saijou-san.”

Claudine would be lying if she said that Hikari’s voice is angel-like when she talks in English. She would also be lying if she said that she didn’t want to strangle the hell out of her right in front of Lucifer.

“What's happening?” Karen asked no one in particular, confused with what's happening in front her.

Claudine was lucky Karen cannot understand English. At least, her humiliation is only limited to Lucifer and Hikari.

She heard Karen, asking Hikari what she said but she still did not turned towards the duo because of the sheer humiliation she’s currently experiencing.

Of course, the gods above hates her. Probably because she tried to form a contract with the devil himself. But she never knew that she can be humiliated more than she would expect.

“Ara,” an all familiar and irritating voice said, in perfect English. “I never knew you wanted me that bad…”

Claudine turned around, hoping to every gods out there that she was only dreaming. But, alas, the gods hate her.

“Saijou-san.” Tendou Maya’s soft and irritating smile greeted Claudine’s eyes.

Lucifer’s laughter was so loud but it became a background noise when Claudine shouted in French, “vous vexant femme!”

So much for forming a contract with the devil.

**Author's Note:**

> Vous vexant femme - You vexing woman
> 
> I honestly don't know if that's correct lmao
> 
> Also, let's just pretend Karen spoke in Japanese, alright?


End file.
